So you want to be GI Joe?

Over the past few months, I have been charged the task (self-inflicted as it was) of learning to parent two children. Now, I've been a mom to Zachary for 11 years, 3 months and 16 days. Micah, on the other hand, moved in 8 months and 15 days ago. Over the past 8 months, we have worked on the adjustment of two "only-children" coping with the fact that a world exists beyond just themselves.

During this time we have experienced camaraderie, sibling rivalry, love and affection, snitching, fighting, sharing, NOT sharing and a multitude of other childhood phenomena. Joey and I have noticed how different our children are from each other, yet there are so many similarities.

While Zack enjoys art and drawing, Micah would rather play video games. They both love their skateboards and enjoy running through the neighborhood on them to "impress the ladies". Micah knows more about various types of guns (of which I'm not too sure that I approve), and Zack can name the song title and artist of most of the hair bands of the 80's and 90's (thanks to Brandon!).

However, over the weekend, we experienced a commonality shared between to two and not one that I am very proud of. They were both caught (on separate occasions) with something that did not belong to them in their pockets. For Micah, it was a lighter and a pocket knife, and Zack had thieved some bullets from his granddaddy's drawer.

Now, many people may be thinking, "Dear Lord! Why would children have those dangerous things in their pockets? And what kind of parents would stand for that?!". Well, to answer your questions: Boys are boys and not these parents!

The items were confiscated, and I now had a hard decision to make. What punishment fits this "crime"? And which do we focus on first? The danger of the confiscated items or the fact that they stole something? Let me say this, the drive back to Memphis from Pickwick was a long one for me. I went over all of the possible scenarios in my head. "What would have happened if Micah had set the woods by the house on fire?" " What if Zack "accidentally" took those bullets to school and was arrested?" "What if Micah had used that little pocket knife and hurt somebody?"

Arriving home, I had still not come up with a fitting punishment. It was then that I realized that a two-fold problem needs a two-fold solution. While the boys were busy unpacking their clothes and cleaning their rooms, I typed up a chore list (for those who know me well, you can only imagine how detailed it was!!). For each child, there are Am chores and PM chores. You may be thinking, "Oh every family has one of those!", well, this chore list beats out any chore list that these two kids have ever seen.

After putting that together, I called the boys downstairs. As they sat on the couch, I very calmly explained to them that, with the exception of a few very minor things, they were VERY well-behaved throughout the weekend. We then moved into the discussion of the contraband found in their pockets. It was the typical parent lecture. Stealing is wrong. The items are dangerous. You could have gotten hurt. Blah Blah Blah.

But wait!!! There's more. The boys were then instructed of their new chore list. In addition to the AM/PM chores, they are to report to the living room by 8 AM every morning for their morning exercises, including but not limited to push-ups, sit-ups, jumping jacks and running in place. They are not to go to the bathroom, get a drink of water, or engage in various other things without asking a parent for permission. They were also instructed of the proper way to ask permission ("May I please...).

The boys then went upstairs to finish their bedrooms. They dusted and vacuumed both rooms, vacuumed the stairs and hallway upstairs, cleaned the upstairs bathroom, the downstairs bathroom, washed/dried/put away their dirty clothes, and washed/dried/refilled the litter boxes. After chores, they ate dinner (all of it!), finished their homework and proceeded to get ready for bed.

"Oh, that is just too much," you might say. However, I don't think so. You wanna play GI Joe and carry bullets and knives and lighters? I'll let you be GI Joe! But GI Joe does his chores, eats his veggies, completes his homework, does his exercises and shows respect to people of a higher rank.

Status report: Day 1

The boys woke up this morning, completed all of their assigned duties and reported for exercises 7 minutes ahead of schedule. After exercises, they sat quietly and read until it was time to catch the bus for school. I got a hug, kiss and "I love you" from both of them. Good to know that they do not hate me!